Often shame and guilt are used interchangeably to describe feelings; however, the two are not the same. While guilt is a natural emotion that motivates change based on the understanding of how my actions negatively impacted someone else. Shame is a manufactured inward facing emotion that tells me what I feel or believe about myself as a result of the negative impact.
An example of this would be lying to someone. Naturally you may experience guilt. That guilt serves as an important interpersonal function by encouraging the repair of a valuable relationship and discouraging future acts that could damage those relationships.
Shame is created based on what we tell ourselves about a situation - we no longer FEEL bad, we BELIEVE we are bad. Untreated guilt can burden you and become shame.
Guilt: "I was dishonest and I FEEL bad about it."
Shame: "I AM a liar and terrible person."
Guilt says this is what I've done
Shame says this is who I am
Overcoming shame requires us to change the way we think about ourselves. Positive affirmations are hard when you do not believe them yet. If saying things like "I am good enough" and "I am beautiful" feel impossible or unauthentic, make an effort to Bridge Thoughts. Make it simple and neutral. "I deserve to exist because anyone else does." "My body is good because it carries me." "I am allowed to eat because I need food to give me energy." Neutral thoughts lead to the realm of possibility.
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